Learning to be a good neighbour

Jesus said: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” He wasn’t the first one to say it — it was written into Jewish law — but he confirmed that it was one of the most important things for us to do, one of the primary keys to a fulfilled life.

So, who is my neighbour?

Jesus was asked that exact question, and his answer clarified some things. He told a story: A man is walking down a road when he is jumped by some robbers and beaten within an inch of his life. A little later on, a priest walking down the road — a priest of the dying man’s ethnicity and religion — sees him lying there and walks right past him. Sometime later, another holy man with a similar background also walks past the dying man. Finally, a Samaritan man — a complete stranger from a culture that was a historic enemy to the Jewish people — walks up and bandages the man’s wounds, puts him on his own personal donkey, and takes him to an inn where he pays out of pocket for him to stay and be healed.

Jesus was asked about neighbours and answered with a story of travellers. Why? Because your neighbours are not just those with whom you live and spend your time. Your neighbour is anyone you interact with. Whether you know them, like them, look like them, or not, they’re your neighbour. Jews and Samaritans often hated each other. They had a long history of bad blood. Jesus was painting a picture of total opposites.

Have you ever been to the airport and sat down across from someone you’re sure would disagree with you on every one of your fundamental beliefs? You can tell by how they dress, the book they’re reading, the food they brought to the gate — your view of the world and theirs must be irreconcilable. Are you picturing that person in your mind? Great. That’s your neighbour. And so is the man asking for change in the High Street. And the family member who is estranged. And the person you’re hoping doesn’t move in next door. They’re all your neighbours.

The second part of the equation is figuring out what it means to love all those neighbours as yourself. This is where it gets hard. In Jesus' story, loving our neighbours requires altering our plans and paths to be kind to people without expecting anything in return. The way Jesus talked about it, loving your neighbour is wholly inconvenient, wildly selfless, and nearly impossible to do well all the time.

But Jesus didn’t seem to care about us doing it perfectly. His teachings suggest that he wanted us to consider our intentions and do the work to act from a place of empathy. Eventually, loving our neighbours is an action that can become intuitive. So, how do we do that?

Three simple steps can help. When Jesus told that story and mentioned that a Samaritan man was walking down the road, the crowd would’ve tensed up. Many hated Samaritans. But Jesus shockingly made the Samaritan the hero, perhaps showing the first step in being a good neighbour is to avoid judging others. Jesus didn’t teach hate or assume the worst.

Another clue is in the word “neighbour.” In Greek, the language in which this story was written, this word is “plesion,” which just means “near.” The Samaritan man whom Jesus sets up as the model good neighbour? He approaches the dying man. He gets close. The other two walk past on the other side of the road. So, step two is to practice drawing near to people we would otherwise avoid. To strike up a conversation. To listen to their perspective.

Imagine for a moment if the people on our High Street did exactly that—listened to one another as neighbours. They might not come to an agreement, but they certainly would become better neighbours by getting close and listening.

And the final clue is in how the Samaritan man puts everything on hold to care for the dying man. It’s an extreme example, but at its core, the man is putting the needs of another above his own. Step three is to choose humility. To put yourself in the other person’s shoes and attend to their needs like you would take care of your own. Jesus modelled this by washing his disciples’ feet — the teacher humbling himself before his students. Jesus wasn’t blinded by quick judgments, and neither was the Samaritan. They both got close and then put their neighbour’s needs above their own. They loved their neighbours.

What would it look like if we all tried to love ours?